Technically, I count Sunday as our first self imposed quarantine day since we left Friday afternoon for the cruise that didn’t happen and came back Saturday afternoon, after going to Buc-ee’s for gas and snacks, a Taco Bell for lunch and then the grocery store which had next to nothing left except the super expensive organic crap that I’m pretty sure nobody ever buys anyway. It looked like a zombie apocalypse had happened or something.
We have enough groceries for now, but we don’t have any toilet paper because Hubs hasn’t been able to find any and I haven’t left the house except to go to the gym yesterday (which is now closed until further notice, as are all our public buildings and the lake/public beach).
I’ve tried to remain calm, because I’m not a person who freaks out over every little thing and I don’t scare easily. However, because I consider myself sort of immunocompromised due to my autoimmune issues, I’m a little nervous about going out in public right now. My immune system has a hard enough time in normal, non-pandemicy times just arguing with itself and the normal, mostly nonthreatening germs that I run into just going out somewhere.
I’m starting to get nervous–I’ve heard rumors that all travel will be shut down until at least August, which means if that happens the two cruises we had planned for this summer are now out. Just by watching the internal district emails that are going back and forth at my school district, I’m predicting that by the end of our extended Spring Break (was supposed to end on March 23, now ending on the 27th) we’ll be told that the district is closing for the rest of the school year (ends mid May) and we’re going to distance learning until then. I don’t know if I’ll get paid or not at EITHER of my jobs (I was supposed to be quitting the Child Nutrition dept in favor of a job I just got with the transportation company that provides bussing for our district as a SpEd bus monitor), so we’ll have to tighten our belts even more than usual, especially over the summer. There’s a rumor they’re going to cancel both Senior Prom and graduation, which will seriously suck for the seniors graduating this year and that makes me sad. Even if prom sucks, you’re supposed to go because it’s a rite of passage. I couldn’t drive and was taken to prom my father, who dropped me off outside. I had to carry a backpack with me (which I ended up stashing under the table where I was supposed to sit) because my stepdad was picking me up afterwards to drop me off at a school sponsored post-prom casino party thing. Prom SUCKED…I wore the world’s ugliest ex-bridesmaid dress that my mom picked up at a garage sale and some really hideous chunky heels. The prom committee hated me and assigned me to sit at a table with some really, REALLY disabled (like mentally retarded/developmentally delayed) students I didn’t even know and it was awkward and weird and I really hated it. And at the casino party I went to afterwards, people hogged the tables so you couldn’t really play any of the games except this stupid game where they would tumble a cage and whatever slip of paper fell out, that’s how many chips you won. At the end of the night, they were auctioning off different items that had been donated and you paid for them in chips you’d won over the course of the evening. I only had like 100 chips and bid on a clock radio with a 4 disc CD changer, which of course I got outbid on and it sucked. The whole night was an experiment in shittiness, but at least I got to go. The kids this year might not even get to experience their own night of absolute crapitude and that makes me a little sad.
I’m trying not to get sad and scared about all of this. But it’s hard. My son turns 16 in a couple of weeks and we might not even get to go out to celebrate his birthday. My sister in law’s oldest and youngest will have THEIR birthdays (they’ll be turning 16 and 11 respectively) a couple weeks after that and they might not get to have parties or go anywhere and do cool shit (my sister in law EXCELS at that stuff) the way they normally would. And it makes me super sad for them.
I’m trying not to get all freaked out and worry, but I sort of am starting to. A little bit anyway.