Son: So yesterday, I got a disciplinary warning and…
Me: Wait..back up. YOU got a disciplinary warning?
This is my kid, who’s been in trouble TWICE the entire time he’s ever been in school–that one time he got suspended in third grade for a day for pulling a girl’s hair and then punching a kid in the stomach and then a few years ago in 7th, when he got frustrated and told a kid to go back to Mexico.
My kid is such a rules follower that I’m honestly surprised at this point that he hasn’t been bullied for telling OTHER kids to follow the damn rules.
Son: Well I was at the top of the stairs, talking to this girl and…
Me: Let me guess..you were blocking the stairs? (Because hey, it happens, right?)
Son: Uh..no. I was at the TOP of the stairs and she was at the BOTTOM yelling up at me and I got a disciplinary warning for that. But I was talking normally…she was the one who was yelling. I wasn’t yelling AT ALL. Like, literally.
Me: (facepalm) So why didn’t you go down the stairs and talk to her so she wouldn’t HAVE to yell?
Son: I don’t know. But I wasn’t yelling. SHE was yelling. I shouldn’t have gotten the disciplinary warning.
Cue the Gibbs smack.
Me: You were facilitating the yelling. IF you had gone down the stairs to talk to her like a normal person, she wouldn’t have had to yell at all. So you got in trouble because you were being dumb. Did she get a warning too?
Son: Yes. But I SHOULD NOT have gotten one. I wasn’t yelling!
Me: But you were the CAUSE of the yelling so..yes, the warning was justified.
Son: It was so unfair though!
Me: No, actually, it was VERY fair. It would be UNFAIR if only you got a warning and she didn’t since you were both participating in the conversation that necessitated the yelling in the first place.